Life: 10.1.2003

Last Friday was seven years from that day. The first day in October of 2003 when the impossible happened. It is my hope that every one at least once in their lives gets to have an experience where something you thought was inconceivable actually happens. It is overwhelming, you feel as if you just witnessed the parting of the red sea or water turn into wine. I will never for as long as I live forget what that was like. I had witnessed a miracle before my very eyes. When I woke up that morning seven years ago, I went to the hospital and this is what I saw..

my baby ready to come home!!

Seriously? She’s coming home? This baby who had less than a 10% chance of surviving, survived?  We weren’t sure of what the future would hold for her, but if we survived the past five months we could get through anything. I will never forget this day. It was a day of blessings for me. It was the first day we were a family, that this baby who I watched go through horrific things was here in my arms and we were home. Five months of immature organs, IVs, taking steps backwards, good nights, bad nights, not sure if she ‘will make it through the night’ nights, surgeries, infections, touch and go, hanging by a thread, risks, procedures, and healing, after all that she was coming home.  She wanted to be here and we wanted her no matter what that meant or how she was going to be. So today, seven years later I chose to remember this feeling and celebrate that God is good. And I was going to do right by her, no matter what. A baby who fights that hard to be here deserves every chance to life her life to the fullest. To laugh, learn and grow. Along these seven years she has overcome so many obstacles, she has healed even more and brighten my life beyond words.  There are so many lessons she has taught me, but mostly I am so grateful that she came home to me. I think she knew I needed her. There are some things a person can survive only once and I think she knew that.

10.1.2003 was the end of the hardest battle of my life. When Kaitlyn was really sick I would sit next to her incubator, close my eyes super tight and pray that when I opened them it would be six months later. Because then I would know is she made it or not. I just wanted to know. The ups and downs (mostly downs for us) was torturous. But this day I knew, I breathed in and out for the first time in a long time.

This is a picture of Kaitlyn when she was a week old. She weighed 1 pound in this photo.

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